moving 2 lysplee.wordpress.com
confused was part of the marriage and it’s gone too :)

Pierced

I went to town for my pee test for the job I’ve been offered. While in town, I went to get pierced. I am now sporting a ring in each nipple. I think they’re awesome :)

So I went looking for jobs today and have already gotten one. I have to finish up my paperwork tomorrow and I start Monday. Had to rearrange my appt with the shrink but I’m hoping I’m over all that now. Hoping really hard. Hung out with bf yesterday. Just hung out. That was a first. I really liked getting to just spend time with him. Can’t have a relationship all about sex, right? So I’m not being committed, or admitted, just drugged up really well. All all the drugs are legal. That’s the awesome part :)

Phych

I went to the health dept today. The doctor wanted to have me commited. I walked out of his office. Come to find out, my family felt the same way, if I couldn’t get help any other way.
Lucky for me, I managed to get a free eval and was told I could voluntarily admit myself but they had no grounds for committing me.

So I cry alot these last few days. Doesn’t mean I should be in a phych ward, does it?

I’m not sad about my divorce at all. It was finalized the 11th and I had no hurt emotions. A week later, I can’t stop crying. I started crying on Tuesday and just couldn’t stop. I have no idea what I was crying for or because. I had to miss work, which meant I was to be fired. Because I had too many points during training. I convinced them to let me keep my job, only to have the same problem on Wednesday. All I did was cry. So I ended up having 2 choices, get fired or resign. I want the option of going back so I resigned. Now I’m jobless again. General doctors have prescribed all the meds they can to fix me. I have to go to a specialist. I couldn’t afford a specialist with insurance, how am I supposed to now? And you know what really sucks? I haven’t cried today. I now am jobless and I am not having the crying fits like the last 2 days. It makes me feel stupid. I lost my job for something that has now vanished.

Also, I went to a tanning bed. Third time in my life. Lady didn’t bother listening to me and now I am completely burnt. I never new someone could get a sunburn from a tanning bed. So I went to talk to the owner. She became a total bitch and refused to even talk to me. Kept telling me she was calling the cops. I should have let her. Maybe I would feel better about the whole thing.

kisses

kisses
landing upon a waiting mouth
your tongue
spreading my lips
to enter within
to explore an inviting realm

ecstasy
as you begin to pull me ever closer
and the pleasure mounting
with each given thrust
while we become one
and go to new worlds

screams
moans of joy and want
lusting for more
needing it to be with you

love
holding us close
until all problems disappear
with discussion

making up
with touches
and caresses
becomes a common event

up

It’s been a bit but here I am, updating. It’s been a busy week. Wednesday I finalized my divorce. When someone tells you it takes forever to get a divorce processed, it’s just because they are lazy. I started mine mid January and it was finished a month later. And I am thrilled. I’ve been posting pics of myself online and receiving excellent responses. Registering with different sites to try a different lifestyle and that’s going well. I may be close to meeting my first possibility. I have a man that cares for me who is working on getting out of a bad situation and wants to be devoted to me. I have met several guys and had cyber sex. Never thought it would do anything for me but it is awesome. Top notch I must say. So all in all, I think life is looking up.

Need

I slide next to you, touch your arm. I can’t keep my hands from your body. There is a magnetic draw. I look into your eyes and see your want, your need. Yet you keep away. You won’t touch me as deeply as I need. I want to be held within your arms, pressed against your body. I want to feel our skin touching, clothing absent. I need to feel your fingertips gliding along my body. I want our lips smashed together as we kiss. Our tongues dancing together, bringing me to a new height of awareness. I want you. All of you. Mind, body, and soul. Why won’t you deliver?

Him

He was off yesterday and we spent a couple of hours together. It was great. We talked a little and fooled around. No sex but he gave me about 20 orgasms. It’s like he knows my entire body and knows where to touch me to make me scream. A brush of his fingertips sets me off. I think of him and feel I will explode if I don’t see him or talk to him daily. I’m longing for the day he has left his wife and has his own place. I want to have that day come. I will get to make love with him. I will get the pleasure of him sliding into me as he kisses me. I want the gentleness, tenderness he will have. I don’t want it to be rushed. When we’re done, I want to get to lay in his arms and fall asleep. I don’t want to have to go. I want to be fucked. Spanked, slapped, tied up, blind folded. I want to be treated like his little slave girl and I want to be treated like his princess. His precious.

I can’t wait until I am his only one. Until I am the one he tells good night when the lights go off.

Ring

So I went to see him yesterday. Was supposed to get an hour with him but his job interferred.  I didn’t get upset about that. I understood that he couldn’t leave his job. What I didn’t understand was why he was wearing the ring again. He made a point of showing me he’d taken it off on Monday, but he had it on again yesterday. Me being the other woman made thoughts run through my head about how they’d made up or he was giving her another chance.

He said he’d put it back on because she was bitching and he wanted her to shut up. To me, that would be like he was saying okay, I’ll stick around. But when I asked another woman, her first thought was exactly what he said had happened. But it hurt like hell to see that ring on his hand. I wanted to yell and scream but couldn’t because I was visiting him at this job. I wanted to break down and cry. Just seeing the ring back on his hand hurt me in ways I didn’t think I could be hurt.

He said he’d fucked up and he knew he did. He didn’t think it would bother me. It just seems like he didn’t think at all.

« Older entries